Future Archaeology

I went to a friend’s house for Christmas dinner and the dinner conversation drifted toward pop culture of the past-namely, the Christmas special “It’s a Wonderful Life.”  While I have watched the movie, it was a fair number of years ago, and I didn’t have as much to contribute to the conversation.  So I was in the silent audience.  My mind began to race, as it does quite often, and I began thinking how things in Jimmy Stewart’s day were so foreign to people in the present day.  That made me think of how things in MY day are foreign to kids today (things like not owning a cell phone, writing letters with pen and paper, using these really archaic mechanisms known as Xerox machines, that type of thing).  Then my brain made the connection to the future and how future people would view things we take for granted today:

“Humans of the past used highly developed cognitive abilities to come up with some inhuman ways to torture each other.  Some of these humans voluntarily submitted themselves to these torture methods to change their appearances.  Perhaps it was a survival mechanism, whereby the most changed specimen would achieve the highest social status and ensure his or her survival?  One can only wonder, but archaeologists have uncovered stranger things.  Thankfully, we now know that, similar to humans of nobility in the middle ages whose bloodlines rarely diverged and thus noble specimens became easily diseased, this incessant need to change  appearances can be deadly.  Take for example this odd fascination humans of old had for encasing their teeth in shackles to realign them to some predetermined desired alignment.  Designated humans would periodically crank these shackles, and move the teeth they encased, with what could only be described as medieval torture devices.  Some humans did this to their children of a whole six or seven years of age!  Sometimes these shackles literally ripped the roots of the teeth away from the tooth!  Archaeologists have found in the torture chambers of the era bone pictures all over the chambers.  It appears the torturers could see the teeth being ripped from the roots but did not disclose this to their victims.  The things humans can do to each other…”

And that line of thought went downhill from there.  Funny what a creative brain can do when exposed to too many documentaries and cheesy science fiction films!


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