The words “motivation” and “reinvention” sound like buzzwords taken out of a business seminar somewhere for wannabe executives. I hate mundane topics, but sometimes have a hard time realizing what to do to make those topics not so mundane. For example, I’ve reinvented a whole lot of things in my life over the last few months, but I can’t seem to find out how to portray the excitement I feel at having done so. New job, new place to live, new personal situation, even a (rare for me) vacation thrown in for good measure.
I’ve started many posts with the best of intentions, but after a few lines, the words seem…mundane. So I surmise I’ve been lacking the proper motivation to write. Scratch that, i always have motivation to write, but I’ve been lacking the correct inspiration. Which is hard to believe, since I’ve had a lot that I’ve wanted to write about, but the words just…haven’t been cooperating.
I realized I’m doing what I’ve done for the majority of my life: I’m putting too much pressure on myself. If I can’t make a monumental difference or change, I feel I’m spinning my wheels and wasting my time. I have to remember something my thesis director told me years ago: He asked me, “How do you eat an elephant?” when I asked how to even start working on the long and arduous process of writing a thesis. He then provided the answer, “One bite at a time.” So, since I can’t turn my new condo into a model house for the Hollywood scene, I decided to affect what I could: I patched some holes in the drywall, bought matching paint at the local hardware store and filled in a few holes of color, hung some pictures and curtains to add color and personality, and suddenly, I feel a whole different attitude about coming home. I’m much more comfortable here, and even entertain the thought of…entertaining. Although since I jettisoned my dining room furniture a few moves ago, entertaining per se is a bit of a challenge, but the point is if I wanted to, I could without embarrassment.
Now I need to rein in my high expectations regarding my writing, remember to take small bites while eating that elephant, and just take on a little at a time.