“Carpe Diem,” or “Seize the Day,” is a motto by which I’ve lived my life since I became old enough to guide my own. Every so often, however, I have to wonder if my lack of seizing things that should be seized is due to societal pressures or to a lack of conviction or confidence. When a car decides to slow down to a crawl when the other 8 lanes of traffic are speeding by and therefore forces me to stay in the crawl lane, I yell at them from the safety of my own car. Sometimes a bit of sign language accompanies the scream, but for the most part, I display my displeasure in a way that doesn’t cause too much exposure. The moron with the wandering shopping cart at the store who makes you spend five minutes trying to get around the cart without running your own into the shelf of food on either side and remains oblivious until you finally give up, move HER cart, and then sail by with yours as she’s giving you the stink-eye is pretty much safe from my perturbed utterances until I round the corner and finally give voice to my frustrations. Why? Because I don’t believe this is something worth causing a scene over. And with my luck, she’d be packing a .44 Magnum in that oversized purse of hers and my annoyed comments would just be the straw that broke the camel’s back.
George Carlin pretty much nailed this idea with is Asshole Theory:
“The amount of an asshole a person is is directly proportional to the distance they are away from you at the time you discover this fault. Someone on TV is REALLY AN ASSHOLE! Someone in the car next to you is Pretty Much of an Asshole. A guy standing next to you on line: <whispers> ‘this guy’s a real asshole here.”
Here’s a good Carlin rant on stupid people which is yet another pet peeve, for the reader’s entertainment:
And when the pervert at the dance club decides to grab my waist once, twice, three times, instead of kicking him right in the balls and leaving, I decide to try the diplomatic approach. The first time, I move. The second time, I move his HAND. The third time, I grab his hand, yell at him, and leave in a huff. Instead of the aforementioned kicking of the nuts. Why? I don’t know. Methinks I have to work on seizing something, alright, and shoving said seized item where the sun won’t shine. *sigh*